love

11 April 2009

That lonesome leaf,

Where I wrote your name

Still clings on,

As autumn wins.

Very soon it shall pass away too,

Bur who cares for a broken wing?

That Ocean breeze knows,

Where your footsteps lie.

It whispers those secrets to the waves,

So I try to bribe the shore,

But what will melt the sea

That died long ago?

May be the leaf foiled the wind

And fell somewhere near your feet,

May be the sands turned against the sea,

And took me there where you hid,

But never did it made the blind know

that every time it was the mute ,

who tried to show him her love …

Santa Clause

May be am crazy, thats why i drove all around 

the city hiding gift at my friends places.

Am crazy not cause i tried to be a santa clause,

but cause i did this on 24th December.

se7en

23rd December 2009

It took 7 months for him to say those words

that I took 7 seconds to understand long back..

burden

sometimes i feel myself as a burden in your life?

if burden are what that  makes me alive,
and gives me a strength to walk ahead,

whose absence makes me dead,
 then yes you are.

Run away, and without roots i shall die

filter

All the leaves had millions holes

the way sunrays were filtered

through it was brilliant.

walk

 

Am so habituated of holding a hand while i walk,
that am not able to walk alone anymore.

cold

There were a thousand whispers at night
of a heart being broken
not once but many times.
And now the ice has
become so cold, that it wont break anymore.

stone

I asked my brother to bring a stone from me

in between a wedding in a big hotel.

And he did.

i had a stone collection once.

Now  i have a stone that means a lot more than a collection.

three

today i was out,
i saw three bend coconut trees.

i lost the pic. :| 

I miss my friends.

the worst thing is to miss people when they are near,
than when they are at distant.

Avoid

tell your mother why you avoid.

she loves me a lot.

I cant.

I wont actually

Kashmir

whatever may happen ,i will . i definitely will.

If i ever do that, i wont wait for your words to be true.

just that you have said it, will help me stay.

I know i am bad when, i know things  yet i pretend not to.

sorry?

terraces

Terraces are beautiful.

I sat there all alone

for hours and cried a few drops.

presence

You were there.When i needed a shoulder.

silent. At a distance.

yet there.

And all those songs i played,

you hummed

i was listening to them. 
and just holding the book ,not studying.

?

so all doors closed?

yes.
but as the wind
touched my skin,
i miss that
every breathe
i used to hear
when we were near.

your photo

i kept staring at your photo.
when my mother scolded
me saying i was
before the pc from noon
to night.

And i wish
i could watch you all
night and the morning
wont shine.

relationship

It took 2 years for a relationship
to break that didn't even took
2 months to last.

And I laughed.

 has it really ended?

the same terrace where i sat alone for hours. 

silent.

All doors closed, and locked

act

Are you okay?

i cant be unless my people are.

i can act till then

prayer

As she walks

through woods

or sleeps in shells,

Like a wildflower

beside the road,

let her invisible

shelter follow

her till dawn

breaks,

and the morning

shines

upon her.

be safe and good.

I wish my angels to be safe and good.

bulls and fish.

The Bulls risk themselves 

into water 

for a fish that could never

walk with them on ground,

that has got just tears and 

never deserved their care..

A sick selfish fish.

why?

why did you hurt her?

trust me i didnt wish.
i dont know how  and when..

knock

my shoes betrayed me ,

yet i walked all the way to my friend's home,

and when the door came

i returned without

knocking it.

need

my cousin brother  introduced me to a  gathering saying-

'she is the most talented and  down to earth person of our

entire family generation and showed my art work to everyone,

when my mother said what is needed is studies and not art.

he said softly

"was  it ever needed to tell her to study, she knows whats best for her, 

she is good in it anyway'

And after a long time i saw how things were.

words

He said- why are you always miserable?and your words too?

for now when you know they were miserable,
It was because,
they were counting their last breaths,
now they are dead.

- something i never replied him back

uderstand

I cant help , if people are leaving
to make me happy.

understand what makes me happy first?

Punishment

never again will i write in love

for she might steal my words again
never again will i fall in love
for she might steal my heart again

- By bhaskar.

love

Long back.

A lion fell in love with the lamb.

In between.

the lion killed her.

Now.

the lion regrets.

locked

Walking away
like a nomad,
from closed doors
to glassed windows,
she wears a body
against the cold,
with all her names lost,
as she gets a shelter
built of
rain and snow.

let her grow
as an oleander.
what if the
ornaments are lost?
from a distance
she shall watch
the angels
turn to gold.

let the rose remain
rooted in locks.
As the seasons
pass away,
people will remember
the dead petals
and tears will
be shed.
may be.

Lost names

The artist cried
for all the names
were lost,
the poet laughed
saying they
were never yours.
Both of them smiled
and left.

From rain to snow,
smoke to roses,
all are beautiful,
n way ahead for an artist's name.
and so for a poet's pen.
no one deserves them.

lock

you- Dont you have keys for locks

        on closed door.

Me-   idk locks..keys..doors..

        are there doors and locks?

        or they are just for your eyes?

courage

If a small leaf can make its way through the hard walls,

then why can't people ?

sun

I raced with the sun today.

 Never did that before.
The moon was more friendly.

note

I have letters in a diary
i keep  in small envelopes.
If anything ever happens. 
take them.

my laughing buddha.

when i punch you ,
you laugh,
so does my laughing buddha.

My old coin

I always had two coins with me. I lost one of them.

the other one~
" when you lost your camera,i felt helpless that i couldn't buy one for you,
this 5 rupees coin cant buy anything,but it was with me from a long time,

it bears a Indira Gandhi photo, somewhere begin your children society with it,
when you feel you want a friend,hold that coin, you might
feel the warmth of a hand"

daddy's little girl

daddy's little girl has grown up.

why is that i can say i love you to a lot of people, 

but cant whisper it to my

sister? or say a sorry for all those fight 

i had that i felt bad about when  you left.

Roses

Roses look pretty when they 

are in hands of people who smile,

else when they are not plucked.

running away

 

she ran away from him,
went alone out,
beneath the stars
and there was another
  'he'
She ran away again..
towards the same
home and remained in her
shell

fear

there was a small cute baby,
I met tonight.

she was afraid to even touch her.
her hands were dirty.

dirty

she is  his dirty secret

that he opens at midnight.

and forgets when morning shines.

complicate

why do you complicate things manisha?


I was born to.
And i always wished to.


And i love games.
that's it.

Angels

 Painting By Shihar Hamza

the snow melts to smoke,
where angels meet,
And there comes a storm
that settles inside a home,
and water
leaves.


i wish i was never made of water.
...

black. and white.

Everything i see is white.
I feel is black.
And i get is none.

promises

promises.

I never do,
nor do i believe.
for they break,
like splashes of
water.

But in your words
i believed.
i still do.

you

You love me more than i do.

Cause your love breaks me down and 

again joins the pieces too.

I become so weak.

May be i dont love you that much.

I dont give.

That's why you are far.

smoke

If it was the smoke

that brought the dust
and the wind close,
what did the ashes
do?


Roads are smokey.
Cloudy walks.
White dreams.
Milky tears.
foggy surrender.
Incomplete shelter.
shaded snow.
underneath the rain.

two worlds

Two worlds.

A lonely me in you.
A you lost somewhere.


Two halves.
a half in me,
a half in you
that never makes one.


two trees.
standing parallel.
That never meet,
but in shadows
that needs a sun.
a sun that never
shines.

Door

I dont want the
sun to shine.
When the leaf
is dead,
why does the autumn bells ring?

Am waiting,
to turn into that
corner,
where you made
your home once,
and gave me shelter
from the rain.

That window,
i can see the drops
on the glass,
Looks like
the tears that
touched us
are paintied on
your photo
that hangs
in my wall
black and white,
and you are
outside,
with a key
that lies in me,
to that door
in-between.

Tell me,
i can always break
the door
as well as me
for the key.

weak

weak,

like the leaf in storm

a soldier

lost in no man's land.
divided
like that tear in your eye,
a leg inside you,
other on my hand.


broken,
like the lines in a leaf
green to yellow,
and brown to black.

disarmed,
like a sand in snow,
a water inside the ice
that cannot be killed by a sun.

Lost,
like a mirror in ocean,
shining in the day,
when strangers search
for her under the moon.



you break me down like the
shadows in sun And
I become so weak
that i dont know what to do
with the love i hold.

lights

Lightened streets,

empty heart,

yellow and red,

the sky burns

so does the night
and a part of me.


what i like is to stand at a distance and watch the game of lights,
of colors, of sky.

A distance.

A restless day.
Anger.Love.
And lonely night sleeps
with

Warm wishes.

clouds

When i say, am walking away.

how do you

happen to change the path?

Cant clouds just move away,

somewhere where there

is no sky?

Do you hold me,

cause somewhere

down am still holding you?

shadow

I was always with you.

to shade

you in the dark,

whispering

you of light

when its night.

All you can do is

bring a glass

and see

i am always with you

just the name changes

from

shadow

to refletion.

child

Today i saw my  father making

faces to make a small kid smile.

And i laughed

to see that kid in him.

certain joys are so pure.

Family- the love i hold i cant say.

smokey

If it was the smoke

that brought the dust
and the wind close,
what did the ashes
do?




Roads are smokey.
Cloudy walks.
White dreams.
Milky tears.
foggy surrender.
Incomplete shelter.
shaded snow.
underneath the rain.

Sleep

upon my hands

two angels laid.
lazy,
like the dreams
on cloudy castles,
flowers turned into buds
to hold
the fragnance
as they slept.


Like a small island
underneath the
roots of a tree,
there lied
a lost ocean,
just like that drop
of tear,
beyond her eyes,
which fell on my hand,
that came like
that bird turning
back to home
in winter.


A single drop
filled the holes
in me,
But why did my angel cry?


I kissed my angels
And my bleeding lips
turned into snow,
like red roses
in milk,
and a drop of tear
made them
pure
like the angels
golden wings.

And then she woke up,
and gave me
a flower :)
that will bloom
in snow,
and will hold
a summer
benathe the
winter.

the angels slept
yet dreams
remained with me.
strange

tired

Crisscrosses, triangles,

uncountable lines,
i shall keep the devils
and surrender you
the lucky stars,


Like drops from sun,
i will fall,
to glide on your skin
as breathes
i never
lived.


like rays from rain,
i will shine,
to wash away my footprints
that will
never
remind you
i was here.

But dont you leave my hand now
am tired of walking all alone.
I will never let them know
how we travelled beyond horizons,
these secrets, like anthills
will grow
to decay in me,
my angels and demons
will tell you stories
of how i waited for
you for ages,
watching the sun
giving birth to the moon,
but dont you leave my hand now,
am tired of walking all alone.
Am tired.




I have got a friend.

I can

Trust me, i can change the wind

to make every bit

of it reach near you

if you ever wish

it to come.

I

As the Rainbow fades

Something glistens in the eye
A speck of dust perhaps
That made me cry
~ kobita






A seed will grow,
from the sun and rain
in shade of autumn leaves
away from winter's breath,
to make a rainbow
that will never fade,
i will plant that in my soul,
never to breathe a wind again,


And never
will a
dust
be born
that will
make you
cry.

II

And years later

There are ripples on the still water
But the tide has been
And never again shall be


~ kobita.


A ocean will be born
among the white clouds
and not a single
drop of sand will stay,
A sea will rebel,
so will the ripples remain
But i shall hold the splashes,

for that
tide
to return
from
where
it came.

III

Was ever an ocean

so deep so dark?
Will ever a tear
On this ocean embark?
-kobita.






An army will uprise
like the winter rain
making a ladder from
clouds to earth
to bleed with the soil
and regain those leaves
that held your name
to defeat the ocean,
that i will hold in my fist,
for that
tear to
stand
upon
its
drops.

IV

As a flower dies



Who cares to cry


For the broken heart


Of a butterfly?


~kobita.






A white lily will grow,
from a bud of rose
that no one saw
to hold those bleeding colors
that were lost
among purple dreams,


And i shall save that flower,
between the pages of my eyes
for that
butterfly
whose heart
will
never break
away.

bleed

I bleed,

like the red sunshine,
And the water
won't hold my drops
this time.


I went near the river,
to return with splashes
that said,
how will i fill your voids,
when I myself have holes?
that even scares the hills
It called the wind
to show its wounds,
never realizing
it was just the
reflection
of
sun.
of me

words

when you dislike a thing,It gets hurt
it comes back to you to show how
beautiful it makes, and how empty your life can

be without it. - she said.

two

two angels
on my fingers
when did
i turn to a
flower?

Two scars
on my skin
and lips.
when did
you  kissed
them?

Roads were never so beautiful before.

a walk to remember

walking.
with no past
like the leaves
who do
not know
where the roots are,
without a shelter of present
neither with dreams of
future.

but buliding three
of them at
one time.

finding
ways like salmon fishes,
planting seeds of life
from death.

watching rainbows,
painting the sky,
holding your hand
i walked away
from me to
myself
and brought
a us in
you.

i dont want to write a poem.
for i did a lot of things
i never did before.

words cant say.

Nor can i,

for that door

you have opened

which i was searching,

 waiting ,

for me to be found.